Diary perhaps...?

With the step wayyyy back in how much information we share to the public, perhaps its time to rethink this as a personal diary for me to look back upon in my old age. I do enjoy going back to look at pictures and posts. No one has logged in since I took it private. Every has seemingly moved to Facebook from a personal blog. I get it. It is a gazillion times easier. Just thinking out loud.

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Final letter to RFTC peeps

Friends,
I know you’ve had to endure a yearly thank you letter on race week, but brace yourself for one more. I promise it will be the last. 

Words will never be able to express the gratitude I have for each person I have had the privilege to work with for the last 10 years on Race for the Cure. Each committee has inspired me to be a better husband, father, and person. I was lucky enough to be placed in a position of leadership on the committee and I tried my best to give you the tools you needed to do your job. To be honest, I have always lived in silent fear of letting you down. I almost made it, but if I am truthful, I feel I let down this last committee in our final moments.

Over 10 years I have stood in front of news programs, support groups, survivor luncheons, civic groups, and even an auditorium full of women’s health professionals to explain why Komen’s mission was important to me. I have stood in front of committee after committee to review and plan every little detail of race weekend. It also fell to me to stand in front of you delivering the tragic news of friends and battles lost. Each time I stood in front of you, I may not have said it well, but I always had words. Then at our victory lunch on April 28, after 72 grueling hours of hard work between us, Lauren asked me to speak to you. I stood up to thank you for your hard work and I choked on the words. I choked on the emotions. I was not thinking about this race or this committee. I was thinking of the last ten years. I wanted to explain how humbled I am by you all and I just couldn’t find the words. We’ve known for two years this was my last committee and I had no idea how to say good-bye. I can’t shake the feeling I wasn’t able to thank you properly and I’m sorry. I can’t choke in a letter, so here you go. Thank you so much 2018 committee for the unbelievable job you did. You guys killed it.

I’m not sure why good-bye is so hard. Many of us are friends outside of the committee. The bond we share isn’t going to just vanish, and I’m not moving to Mars. Being race chair and operations chair has just been a massive part of who I have been for a significant portion of my adult life. Day to day we all have different monikers. I am Chad to my wife and family. I am Dad to my kids. I am Sully to my old friends. I am Papa to many of my new. I am Mr. Chad at work. Lastly, for over 20% of my life I have been Chad, “you know, the guy from Race for the Cure.” I’m proud of them all. It is hard to give up being Race Chad, but the time has come. I have a lot of last thank-you’s to hand out though I know it’s an indulgence but I need the closure.

Elaine-Thank you for seeing something in me I didn’t see way back in 2008 and never letting me off the hook

Alison -Thank you first for believing in me enough to keep putting me in front of hundreds of people to tell my story and later after I forgave you for making me tell personal things to hundreds of strangers, for your friendship.

#copsteam-Thank you for letting me be a part of such a amazing group. The greatest compliments we ever received were people asking what company we worked for. People were amazed we were volunteers. I’ll forever be amazed what we could do in 48 hours.

Mom, Dad, Rosalyn, Weldon, and Ann-Thanks for your love and support at race time. The fam couldn’t have functioned without you.

Noah and Campbell-Thank you for never making Daddy feel bad when I missed bedtimes, baseball practices, a 1st grade program, and countless other moments. I’d say you will understand one day but I think you understand now.

Drenda-Thank you for your patience and your trust.

Mary-Thank you for believing me when I told you my team knew what they were doing. Also, thank you for your courage until the very very end. 

Shannon-Thank you for teaching me when to listen, when to speak, and when to walk away.

Michelle-Thanks for keeping watch over the bigger picture.

Lauren-Thank you for your friendship and trying to ease the burden of my team the past few years.

Neile-Thanks for the understanding when my family wanted its privacy back.

Stephna-Thank you for having my back in those early years.

Keith “ish”-Thank you for showing me what the word dedication means.

Cortney-Thanks for always smiling through late nights when I first took over OPS. 

Lindsay-Thank you for being steady when we were always overwhelmed race week.

Zac -Thank you for being a badass. I swear if you had come along 8 years ago we may have ran this thing forever.

Scott and Weaver -Thank you for stepping up and taking over. Sorry to lump you together but my brain processes you as one.

Ron- Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings.

Valerie -Thank you for loving my wife and making my mission your own.

Jennifer -Thank you for always reminding me the survivors and those who did/will not are the most important people on race morning. 

Jay and Inger-Thank you for always making sure the details happened.

Bart-Thank you for late nights going over maps that only made sense to me.

Casey-Thank you for your hard work and patience when every single year I gave you a new job.

Jeremy-Thank you for stepping up out of voluntold to full member of #copsteam.

Gay-Thanks for always having a smile no matter the day or the weather :)

Nicholas and Leslie- Thank you for being there as family, but thank you more for being there as friends. 

Kari, Rich, and the board-Thanks for always having the committee’s back during difficult times.

Clyde-Thank you for being there every single day when I turned around.

Jerri-Thank you for teaching me what sacrifice means.

Essa-Thank you for your steady presence and being there year after year.

Tyler-Thanks for making sure people knew they were never on an island. 

Jessica-Thank you for stepping up calmly and stabilizing the most unpredictable job. 

Bryan and Dave-Thanks for not yelling at me in the endless edits to the equipment list.

Robin and the gang-Thanks for being so good at your jobs that after year 1 I felt like I was just in your way.

Cindy, Christie, Sherri, and Tara-Thank you for letting me be flexible on race week.

Jarod, Scott, Jose, and the Rogers Police Department-Thanks is never enough for your service. I wish I had more to offer but I am proud to know you gentlemen. 

Butch-Thanks for never saying no to any request-at all.

David and Wayne-Thank you for the enormous trust you placed in me and my team through changes big and small.

The Pink Mafia-Thank you for letting me call you the Pink Heavies.

The Pink Divas-Thank you for my pink wardrobe.

The Voluntolds-Thank you for showing up year after year and asking where the bootstraps were to pull.

The families and friends of #copsteam-Thank you for picking up the slack during race month so they could go off and do badass things.

To the many chairs, co-chairs, concierges, and the endless sea of volunteers-Thank you for dedicating your time and energy working towards a cure. The whole thing falls apart without you. 

Only one person left to thank and I don’t know where to start and I’m pretty sure it would never end. I used to tell people I started volunteering out of fear. I never forgot the fear of waiting rooms. I never forgot the fear of doctors walking out of a room to talk to you. I never forgot the fear of a phone call when you knew the lab had to have the results. I don’t know when it transitioned but at some point I knew I wasn’t doing this out of fear. I did it out of love. The kind of all consuming love that changes your life the moment it hits you. The kind of love that you seize and pray never leaves. The kind of love that has an amazing story waiting for Hallmark to make a movie. My love has that kind of story. It’s a great story that is only partway written but it led us to here. The story starts with a girl. She has brown hair and the most beautiful green eyes you can imagine….

Thank you Jenna. 

All my love,
Chad Sullivan

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Cam's belated party

Cam deserves a medal this year. When Jenna hurt her ankle in November, we had no idea she'd still be hobbling 5 months later. There was zero way for Jenna to plan and run a birthday party for  Campbell so she went along with postponing it. The poor thing had to wait over 4 months but her mom came through with a fantastic sleepover. 

Not all heroes wear capes

This afternoon, I was picking up pizzas and had a short wait. As I was sitting inside staring out the window, a van pulled up. A dad got out and walked around to the sliding door. He opened it and let his 5-6ish year old daughter out. I watched them walk in. I knew right away she had autism. The way she was taking in the unique sights. The way she held her daddy’s arm. The way she self stimmed with her other hand. She was a beautiful little girl. 

It was not an unusual exchange in my world. I’m a pediatric OT. Have been for 22 years. Twenty years ago my career was dominated by cerebral palsy. Today it’s autism. 

This exchange will stay with me awhile, though, when I watched them leave. It had just begun to rain and as the dad was putting the pizza in the passenger seat, his daughter began to spin and dance in the empty parking spot next to the van.  Not sure if it was the air pressure changing, the feel of the rain, or the unique colors of the sky at that moment, but her world knew it was different and it was wonderful. I couldn’t hear him through the window but I could see him calling her name. He was holding the seatbelt. He looked tired. He walked over to her and I was fully expecting him to grab her hand and pull her out of her world and back into his. Into ours. 

But he didn’t. 

He stood at the end of the parking space she was dancing in to protect her from cars and ... He watched her. On a Friday afternoon when we all just want the weekend to start, he stood in the rain and shared her world.

After a minute that seemed like an eternity she stopped dancing and saw him standing there. She skipped over to him and took his arm the way she had earlier. He helped her into the van, buckled her in, and took her home to their unique, beautiful world.

An Observation

A moment ago, I was picking up pizzas and had a short wait. As I was sitting inside staring out the window a van pulled up. A dad got out and walked around to the sliding door. He opened it and let his 5-6ish year old daughter out. I watched them walk in. I knew right away she had autism. The way she was taking in the unique sights. The way she held her daddy’s arm. The way she self stimmed with her other hand. She was a beautiful little girl. 
It wasn’t an unusual exchange in my world. I’m a pediatric OT. Have been for 22 years. Twenty years ago my career was dominated by cerebral palsy. Today it’s autism. 
This exchange will stay with me awhile though when I watched them leave. It had just begun to rain and as the dad was putting the pizza in the passenger seat, his daughter began to spin and dance in the empty parking spot next to the van. Not sure if it was the air pressure changing, the feel of the rain, or the unique colors of the sky at that moment but her world knew it was different and it was wonderful. I couldn’t hear him through the window but I could see him calling her name. He was holding the seatbelt. He looked tired. He walked over to her and I was fully expecting him to grab her hand and pull her out of her world and back into his. Into ours. 
But he didn’t. 
He stood at the end of the parking space she was dancing in to protect her from cars and ... He watched her. On a Friday afternoon when we all just want the weekend to start, he stood in the rain and shared her world.
After a minute that seemed like an eternity she stopped dancing and saw him standing there. She skipped over to him and took his arm the way she had earlier. He helped her into the van, buckled her in, and took her home to their unique, beautiful world.

Johnson Weekend 2017

Nice laid back weekend at Annie and Pops with the Johnson's and their girls. Swimming, Fishing, and Baseball. It was basically a beer commercial.