The X-Linked Bounce Out of Bed Phenomenon

A couple of weeks ago I went on my yearly guy's golf trip. The drive was 3 1/2 hours and we had to be there at nine. I was to pick up Scrumpy and be on the way. The alarm was to go off at 4:30 AM.

You know where this is going. How can I struggle to get out of bed at 645 each morning for work but I can bounce out of bed at 430 to drive 3+ hours for golf? Not only did I bounce out of bed but I was in the shower before the last note from the alarm had fully died.

What is it about the male genetic make up that makes the time or the amount of daylight outside irrelevant when faced with guy play. I think this peculiar behavior is isolated mainly to the male half of the population. I could be wrong but the women I grew up with and lived with throughout my life don't seem to have the same affliction. I was late for work almost everyday from age 24-27. In those same years I had a standing tee time in Bella Vista at 730 AM every Saturday. Not only was I up and on time after a 45 minute drive but the night before was often much later than anything I did on weeknights. I'm not a hunter, but it's an aversion to the cold not the early AM hours that I can't get on board with.

I love my wife dearly but I crawled out of the bed on our wedding day. If I had been on my way to go fishing instead of heading to the chapel I'd been 30 minutes down the road before my other self's Dr. Pepper had stopped fizzing. The thing is I was excited on my wedding day. More so than the 80th time I met Mika on the practice tee trying to kick the dew off my shoes. The phenomenon amazes me. Everyone I know experiences it either with themselves or with their spouse.

Well...I have a theory. It's not going to make my wife happy to read, but I believe it to be true. I don't think it has to do with testosterone. My thinking here is getting up to go fishing by yourself doesn't elicit the same mad dash out of bed. I think it has to do with the very nature of male bonding. Something in our DNA makes it impossible to think about letting our buddies down. I think most guys can live with getting caught lying to their wives occasionally. I mean as long as it isn't about a receipt for the 2-hour hotel room on a Tuesday afternoon. That's a tough lie to tell. I'm talking about the "Why are you 45 minutes late?" type of lie. Most guys that I know will lie to the spouse to avoid an argument but you would never lie to your buddy about this. One is there won't be a fight, but two I truly believe you don't want your buddy to think your a liar. Cheating is the same way. I don't mean fidelity type cheating. I can't imagine getting caught cheating at a sport, poker, or whatever by my buddies. The thought is enough to ensure I never do it. We had a guy abuse his commissioner privileges to post date his lineup in fantasy baseball one time. We're still talking about it 6 years later.

So I guess my main question in all this musing isn't about springing out of bed in the wee hours. It's what snaps inside a guys head to make him sprint to his car so his guy friend doesn't have to wait an extra 10 minutes before hitting the McDonald's drive through? Bizarre I know.